My Book by Brooks Summer

Author:Brooks, Summer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-07-04T16:00:00+00:00

Fourteen

Amanda

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had two orgasms in one night, though I imagined that it was probably the last time that Matt and I were together. Most of the men that I’d met in the intervening years had been all too keen on pleasing themselves, but not all that interested in assuring my satisfaction as well. Incredibly, I felt spent, well-rested, and hungry when I got out of the shower. And even though I was irritated with Matt for bringing up birth control immediately after we had enjoyed each other in the shower, I was happy.

So of course, we had to go and ruin it.

Matt had ordered Chinese delivery, and we sat on his couch sharing boxes of bourbon chicken and steamed rice in relative silence when Matt brought it up.

“So you named him Aaron?” he asked. He was just making small talk, but the fact that he brought up Aaron at all suggested that he was finally ready to talk about it, which made me somewhat relieved.

“Yes. Aaron Nicholas Fisher.” I couldn’t help but smile when I thought about him. That kid was my whole life.

“That’s a good name,” Matt said, returning my grin. “What’s he like?”

“Oh wow.” It was a big question to answer, but I felt like I had to give it a try. “He’s an amazing little man,” I said. “He’s eight, and he’s so smart. He loves to read. He also loves cartoons and movies. He has a ton of energy. And he’s such a smartass. I have never met a kid who makes me laugh so often.” The truth was, aside from Aaron and a few of the friends he had made in school, I hadn’t met a lot of kids. I wasn’t the type of mom to take him on lots of play dates when he was little. I was always busy and on the go.

“He sounds pretty great,” Matt said to me. “I bet you’re a great mom.”

I thought about this for a long moment. “I wasn’t at first,” I admitted, “but when you’re on your own, you just have to figure it out. And my mom helped some.”

“I’m sorry you were on your own,” he said. The sentiment was genuine, but Matt knew as well as I did that he wouldn’t have the life that he did today if he’d been busy taking care of a kid with me. He was a managing partner at a prestigious firm. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I had stopped him from achieving that. I told him so.

“It didn’t stop you,” he said.

“It was hard,” I explained. “The hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I could have made it easier.” He was almost pleading, and I didn’t know what to do with the feelings that he was expressing. So, I let them hang there in the air like clean laundry blowing in the breeze, and steered the conversation in another direction.

“He looks like you,” I told him.

“Really?”

I nodded. “Not so much that other people noticed, but in the eyes, it’s unmistakable.

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